The Cullen Boys Days Alone
by Twilightlover1518
Summary: Lol everyone but the three boys are out, and they are BOOOOREEEEEEEED. What will happen? Find out in these short funny stories! Rated T for language. Warning: May have content that is just plain stupid. Please refrain from hunting me down and shooting me.
1. Chapter 1

_**Bonding is good for your health**_

Edward POV

I have to face another long day without Bella. She's going to La Push to visit the dog, and Rosalie and Alice are out shopping.

Esme and Carlisle are out on "business". Yeah that's right I added emphasis! Yeah, Carlisle, I heard your filthy thoughts! Shame on you old man! You old Filthy Mc Nasty!! SHAME!!!!!!!!!

I must seriously be losing it….. "Edward-o, I'm boooooreeeeed" How many times do I have to tell Emmett it's _Edward. _ "It's EDWARD! E-D-W-A-R-D! SPELL IT RIGHT MAN!!! OR DO YOU WISH TO FACE MY WRATH OF DEATH!? WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" and then I karate chopped him in half.

I started chuckling at the crazy turn my thoughts have taken. "Edward! I said I'm bored!!!!!!!" I rolled my eyes and let my head drop backwards like it was disconnected from my neck.

"Emmett, what do you want me to do about it? Entertain you? Wait don't answer that" he pouted and stood up off the couch. "JAZZ! WHATCHA DOIN?!" "READING!" "I'M BOREEEEEDDDDD!" "WHO CARES?!" "I CARE!!! ENTERTAIN MEEEEEEEEE!" "ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS?! ENTERTAIN YOUR DAMN SELF!" "WELL I NEVER! HURUMPH!"

A dry sobbing Emmett ran up to his and Rosalie's room and slammed the door. Well…I don't know about Emmett…but that was _definatly_ entertaining.

**_LOL I JUST HAD TO WRITE THIS! I'm glad I decided to leave myself out for once :D_**


	2. Emmett the air head

_**Bonding is good for your health**_

Edward POV

Jeez, I can't believe me and Jazz are stuck babysitting Emmett again. This is the second time everyone has left us! WE HAVE FEELINGS TOO! WE WANT TO BE FREE!!!!!!! WE NEED LOVEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Edward, I know you have nothing else better to do with your spare time, because your a loser, but dude, when you start laughing for no reason you kind of creep me out." I threw a pillow at Emmett's huge hallow head and went back to day dreaming.

Emmett POV

Pretty pink ponies........oops.

Edward POV

"HAHAHAHAHA HEY JAZZ! HE'S THINKING ABOUT PONIES!" "WAHAHA LET'S TEASE HIM FOR NO REASON!" "OKAY!" What the hell? This wasn't in my nature to act as such, but hell I was BORED! "YO PONY MAN! WHAT UP?!"

Emmett stood up and crossed his arms glowering at us. "YO MOMMAS!!!!!!!!" "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH IT'S ON!!!!!" Jasper was by my side in a second. "LIKE DONKEY CON!" "What the hell Jasper?" Me and Emmett said in unison.

He shrugged. "It was the first thing I thought of" "Oh okay..." we said in unison again, "Well um, we gonna get this started or what?" "Yeah I guess..I didn't really have anything prepared..." "Oh, yeah , I mean, we understand. You can stay out on the side Jazz...we have some very comfortable seats if you look to your left, and on the right, we have mountain lion, elk, and grizzly bear blood smoothies."

I raised an eyebrow at Emmett's....whatever that was. "Why thank you, here's a tip! Keep the change!" he threw a penny at Emmett's head which knocked him through a loop and punctured his air head. Literally. OH THIS WAS RICH!

"IT AIN'T FUNNY! HELP ME PUT AIR BACK IN MY HEAD!" BAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jasper POV

Well, since Edward is on the ground laughing like a maniac at our oldest looking brother's deflated head, I will say goodbye this time. BYE!

_**LOL!!!!! MORE SHORT STORIES TO COME! THIS MADE ABSOLUTLEY NO SENSE! BUT IT WAS FUN! THANX FOR READING! XD**_


	3. Gangsta YO! or not?

_**Bonding is good for your health**_

Edward POV

As you may have guessed by now, I am the host of these twisted jacked up retarded crazy yet some how entertaining and funny short pointless stories. Wow that's a mouthful.....

*Edward opens his mouth and spits out words* Wow, tastes like chalk. "EDWARD! STOP DAY DREAMING! WE MUST COME UP WITH A PLAN! WE ARE LEFT WITH EMMETT AGAIN!!!!!!!! WE MUST ESCAPE AND PLAN WAR WITH THE TACOS!" Eh? "Eh?" I stared at Jasper like he'd grown a second head. Actually........ "Jasper why do you have two heads?" One of his heads looked at him and started screaming "RUN! HE'S FOUND OUT HE'S NOT REALLY DRUNK!!!!! RUN OTHER ME!!!!!!!!!!!" and then they fled the scene.

"Yo Jazz what the f***** was dat you lazy son of a b******* ho?" Obviously Emmett was trying to be gangsta again. So, I whipped out my random banjo and put a piece of straw in my mouth and started playing while Emmett tried, yes TRIED to rap.

_YO YO YO! THIS YO BOY EM MC C! _

_FOR ANY DUMMY WHO DONT KNOW WHAT DAT IS IT STAND FO_

_EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN! YOOOOOO!!!!!!! AND IF DONT LIKE IT!_

_.............................. TOO BAD! CUZ....YO!!!!!!! _

then he striked a pose before running upstairs to do who knows what. Actually I know, he's going to play dress up with his barbies. Apparently he thinks it's manly..... O_o....

_**THE END! ROFL MORE TO COME XD**_


	4. I don't even know what this is

_**Bonding is good for your health**_

Edward POV

Why is it, that everyone other weekand, EVERYONE BUT US THREE GOES SOMEWHERE?! WE HAVE LIVES TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POWA TO THE PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eh what the hell am I talking about?

"EDDIE WARD! ME BORED! PLAY WITH ME!!!!" "Emmett, you play with yourself enough, you don't need my help." OH! DOUBLE MEANING ALERT! DOUBLE MEANING ALERT! BOOOO YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jasper was by my side giving me a hi five and an "OOOOOOH! NICE MY BROTHA NICE!"

(LITTLE A/N CAN YOU IMAGINE ROB PATTINSON, JACKSON RATHBONE, AND KELLAN LUTZ BEING THIS DUMB? I CAN'T! CUZ THERE TOO HOT TO BE DUMB XD)

"UM THANKS FOR THAT AUTHOR? O_o............. anyways back to the story.........." "DAT AINT RIGHT MOTHA ASS!" "DUDE! YOU USED IT WRONG! IT'S MOTHA F*************!!!!!" Me and Jasper just looked at the idiot who was talking to himself. Oh, you probably thought that was us responding. No, it's just Emmett being stupid beyond all reasons.

"YO?! WHY IS DAT, DAY, MAKE MEH SO DUUUURRRRRM?" That question alone was....as he put it DUUURRRRM. "Because, a smart Emmett would be hilarous in the thought, so to keep everyone satisfied in not knowing that you can't count past 8 is better than a Emmett who can actually make it to 9."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? There's a 9??" "We rest our case." Me and Jazz nodded before we linked arms and skipped through four walls and into the sunset giggling and squealing like little girls.

Jasper POV

"Hey Emmett? is he day dreaming again? If not, why is he skipping in place ans squealing like a girl? I WANT ANSWERS MAN!" Emmett cowered in the corner. "I DONT KNOW DADDY! JUST DON'T HIT ME ANYMORE!!!" Wtf? AH I CAN'T BE HERE ANYMORE! TO INFINATY AND BEYONG!!!!!!!!!!!

Emmett POV

Did Jasper just grow wings and rocket threw the ceiling? Wow and I thought I was the dumb one. Oh well, I guess I'll go play alone now. "WIGGLES EYEBROWS WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE!"

_**O_o.............**_


End file.
